Why?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

./reportspam

Why?

I can cry underwater.

Can you cry under water?
-Yes.

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
-Assassinations are generally political.

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
-To your mom.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
-You get white robes.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
-Cause it's easier to stack than circular boxes.

What disease did cured ham actually have?
-Life.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
-Social progress; stop being so damn lazy about luggage.

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
-Short amount of very restful sleep.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
-Yes.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
-Because you can't fit in a TV!

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
-Birds eye view, gives you a different perspective on life.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
-Gets them all hot and bothered, works the imagination.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
-Panties are a smaller version of pantyhose, hence the reference.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
-I like it...

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
-To show that there are people in society that do things which might not immediately effect us, but as a whole everyone's actions manipulate the world as we know it. Jimmy cracked the corn, no one cared, Jimmy slaughtered his entire family and blew up a school. Lesson learned.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
-Yup.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
-Ratings, man! Ratings!

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
-Goofy was a man in a dog-suit, Pluto was a real dog.

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
-Ratings, man! Ratings!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
-Babies. You must've sucked on the SATs with the sequence questions.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-Science dictates that yes, morons do produce a copious amount of morality with which they fill the pits of hell with their lies and deceit.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
-Yes, kids need things to be simple. Progressive learning tactics.

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
-Cause you could be lying, you're known for your devilry.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
-Caused from a blood vessel being over strained or slightly breaking, which causes minor internal hemorraghing-hence, hemorrhoid.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
-Your dog hates you.

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
-I didn't, you're a stalker, you have your own means. And return my underwear please!

Odd thing...I was going to do the exact thing Sentear did...but I lost interest around question 8 and realized I didnt have that kind of time to waste....

.....do you actually work at work, Sentear?


btw...your answers were better than mine

Gasp, too much to read!

this was in actuality an e-mail sent to me by a co-worker, not sure were she got it from.

Just thought it was...interesting.

Peace

Sentear has no sense of humor

I think he may be a robot. A really, really, dumb robot

Bennet's just jealous of my superior sense of humor, so he feels like he has to debase all that's totally rad about me.

It's okay though. I understand, Bennet.

I'm frickin' awesome.

A really, really dumb robot

Really, really jealous.